He has been showing signs of being ready to read for quite awhile. He knew all his letters and the sounds they make when he was two years old. Back then, he was even able to write some basic letters. It was so cute! But I didn’t know what I could do to help him read, until I was told about this book.

Features of the Book

Here are some of the book features:

• 100 lessons
• Uses Distar® orthography, which initiates early instruction
• Appropriate for preschool children and children in school but who have not learned to read yet
• Parent script provided, expected student responses mentioned, and ways to correct if necessary
• Parent’s guide (about 22 pages at the beginning) that explains system and how to correctly follow it, pronunciation guide, and writing chart.
• Includes story and picture comprehension and writing

Benefits of the Book

Here are some of the benefits of the book, from my perspective as a mom:

• Little time required: I love that each lesson only takes about 20 minutes. This is very doable for me in my busy life; and great for my son. (We finished some of the early lessons in five minutes.)
• No thinking of what to say: I love that they actually provide a script of exact wording the parent should use to present the material, and it’s printed in red ink. This takes away any extra work I might need to do.
• Anyone can do it: I am not a teacher yet it’s been easy for me to sit down and work through these lessons with my son. Logical and structured lessons make it easy.
• It really works: It’s been amazing to me to see how the lessons progress from such basic beginnings to actually provide results. You can see how far my son came by lesson 33 – and we still have a ways to go!

Here is a video of our son reading the story from lesson 33:

If you can’t see the video, click here.

We are currently on lesson 56 and it’s been such a great experience that I wish we would have started sooner! We do one lesson every day; they recommend not skipping any days. Over the Christmas break we did skip a few days here and there and I could tell it was a bit harder to come back to it.

To provide a little extra motivation on the second half of lessons, I put a few stickers on random lessons. When we get to a lesson that has a sticker, my son gets to pick a new book (that I already purchased). I found some reader books on his current favorite topic: sharks.

I will be providing follow-up videos and updates as we progress. I can say that it’s been so rewarding to see him actually read, and to know that I helped him!

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This guest post comes from a good personal friend of mine named Pamela who blogs at The Ripple.

Mom! Dad! Don’t Forget!

Remember what it felt like the first time you were out after dark without your parents? How it exciting it was when you had your first hit in tee-ball? What about how absolutely terrifying your nightmares were? The feeling you had when you first drove the family car all by yourself, legally? The butterflies in your belly on your first date? That crazy bike crash when you broke your arm and that incredible pain? Being so excited for Santa to come that you couldn’t sleep?

No? Not until I just reminded you? You’re not alone.

So many of those firsts, so amazing and alive when we experienced them, are faded and dim. They’re there, for sure, but they’re buried deep under all the stuff we’ve experienced and learned and endured as we’ve done what Peter Pan never wanted to do. Grow up.

As parents, we recognize how very fragile and vulnerable our children are, how absolutely in our care they are. We nurture and guide them, teach them and hope for them. We protect them fiercely, knowing what we do about the dangers of this world. But to some degree we do them a substantial disservice.

We have forgotten. As we have grown and begun our own families, a mild amnesia has set in and we have forgotten those magical, horrible, painful, blissful memories of our own childhoods.

When your child is creating art on his own and wants to show you each and every line and color, do you lose your patience? Or do you remember when you were doing the very same thing, desperate for the approval of the people you revered above all else, your Mom and Dad? When your child is freshly pressed and dressed, ready for the important family occasion, and suddenly notices how completely irresistible the puddle in the driveway is, do you see a delay in the outing or do you remember the countless rainy days you spent puddle-jumping? When your teenager is doing her hair for the fourth time in preparation for her first real date, are you exasperated or are you sitting in your favorite chair with a glass of wine, reliving the exciting nervous promise of your first date? So many examples!

I think, as Moms and Dads, we have such responsibility for our children’s well-being and safety that we no longer allow ourselves the luxury of remembering our firsts. I think too that we remember much more clearly the painful hurts of growing up and we want above all else to shield our children from those experiences. Trouble is, forgetting so much of what we went though takes away a tool that we can use to help our children navigate the tricky waters of growing up.

It takes a lot of faith, strength and love to keep those memories close at hand in order to share them with your kids. And of course, the brain knows what it’s doing when it helps you bury memories. But keeping those events of your youth close at hand, and having the faith to let go a little, is a gift your children will appreciate throughout their entire lives, especially as they become parents themselves someday.

Photo copyright Natalie Harding (www.natalieharding.com)

The next time your son or daughter comes flying into the freshly cleaned house covered in mud, dying to show you the frog in their grimy hands, hit the pause button. Just for a second, think about how you may have done that very thing. Think, just for a split second, about the fact that your child is so excited to show you this treasure and how in the not-too-distant-future that won’t be the case. Maybe spare a few minutes to really check that froggy out while you gently steer your muddy kid back outside. Kiss him or her on the sweaty, stinky head and remember your first slimy treasure.

When your child gets their heart broken in two, whether it’s by their first love or the coach who cut them from the basketball team, spare a few minutes. Sit near them, hug them if they’ll let you, share a snack and your memories with them. Although it means reliving something difficult, the bond you strengthen with them is something they’ll always remember, especially when their children have a similar experience.

When your young adult gets into trouble, as they often do while they’re learning and growing, think back to your wild youth. Just because you are in a position of power or responsibility now doesn’t mean you never stole a street sign or had a beer before you were legally allowed to. Be strong, be firm, but be honest and share the lessons you’ve learned along the way.

Remembering our childhood can be beautiful and heartbreaking all at the same time. Having the strength, honesty and faith to share our memories with our kids and help them along the way can be a powerful way of demonstrating just how much we truly love and care for them. It’s a ripple you can begin today, and watch spread through the next generations.

Pamela is the mother of two grown children. She is also a massage therapist and artist. Her new creative ripple, as she says, is designing and creating unique zombie dolls. You can check them out on her Facebook page, Fiddleheads and Chaos. And don’t forget to check out her blog The Ripple.

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Just wanted to take a moment (finally) to let you know that our little girl was born at home on September 8, 2011! Yes, it’s taken me 6 weeks to get this announcement out to you; sorry about that! We are all happy, healthy, and only a little sleep deprived! Needless to say life is crazy and if you haven’t noticed, I will be taking a short break from writing on my blog.

In my absence I do hope to have several guest bloggers writing interesting content for you to read – stay tuned!

In the meantime, here are a few photos of our new family, her birth slideshow (below), and birth story for you to read. And some of my previous articles on midwives, homebirth, and natural childbirth.

Have any of you birthed at home or with a midwife? Leave a comment and share!

shortly after birth

big brother loves his sister!

us with our midwife

our new family, taken about 3 weeks after birth

We hired a birth photographer to document our special moment and we couldn’t be happier with the results!

• Sneak peek at some photos (if you just have a minute)
• Birth slideshow set to music (if you have a few more minutes)

Curious about midwives and homebirth? Read some of my previous articles on the topics:

• Demystifying Midwife-Supported Natural Childbirth Part 1: Misconceptions and Facts About Midwives
• Demystifying Midwife-Supported Natural Childbirth Part 2: Safety
• Demystifying Midwife-Supported Natural Childbirth Part 3: Who Chooses Midwifery Care?
• 8 Ways Midwives Promote Safe Childbirth
• How to Have a Natural Childbirth

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• Easy Way to Get Cheap Pregnancy Tests for Less Than 25 Cents Per Test
• Demystifying Midwife-Supported Natural Childbirth Part 1: Misconceptions and Facts About Midwives
• Movie Review: The Business of Being Born

As parents, we want to teach these values to our children but are often so busy with daily life that finding time for it remains low on a priority list and often doesn’t happen. We also desire deeper connections, perhaps spiritual connections, with our family and that also can get put on the back burner.

Are you needing a little nudge in the right direction? I was in the same boat as you – until recently.

Soul to Soul Parenting

For awhile I’ve  been wanting to do *something* to create deeper bonds within my family, but I felt overwhelmed and didn’t know how to go about it. Out of the blue, I was fortunate enough to receive a copy of the book Soul to Soul Parenting: A Guide to Raising a Spiritually Conscious Family by Annie Burnside. This was the sign I needed. After reading the book I came away not only motivated to start creating deeper connections with my family, but armed with some solid ideas, tools, and skills.

What is “Soul to Soul” Parenting?

Annie encourages us to interact with everyone (including our children) “soul to soul” instead of “role to role”. For example:

• Instead of “parent to child”, it’s “soul to soul”
• Instead of “teacher to student”, it’s “soul to soul”
• Instead of “doctor to patient”, it’s “soul to soul”

By seeing others as souls first the nature of your interaction changes, becoming more loving, compassionate, and joyful. To me, the concept of “soul to soul” reminds me of namaste: ‘the light in me sees the light in you’.

What is a “Spiritually Conscious” Family?

According to the book, a spiritually conscious family is not a perfect one but rather a wide-awake family; one that is fully aware of each individual’s capacity to shape their reality.

OK, but what does that mean?

To me, being ‘conscious’ in daily life means not going about our lives on auto pilot. When situations occur, if you are conscious/present/mindful you will react with some thought and purpose, keeping the concept of “soul to soul” in the forefront and choosing your actions accordingly – instead going with an automatic reaction without thought.

Conscious parenting involves bringing your children to a deeper understanding of large universal concepts such as self-love, true joy, authenticity, free will, and compassion.

No matter your family’s current religious affiliation, Soul to Soul Parenting hopes to model what it means to live mindfully and consciously in a hectic world. Annie provides many ways to incorporate spirituality into family life, so that we can start to see beyond appearances and words and truly acknowledge another’s validity. What a great way to see our children – and how great to start teaching them at a young age to see others this way as well.

What’s Inside the Book?

Soul to Soul Parenting encourages us, as parents, to take ownership and become the spiritual leaders of our family. Using principles learned from her own journey of self discovery, her family, and her professional experience providing spiritual insight and support, Annie provides the following techniques in her book:

• Soul to Soul Parenting Vehicles: Used to integrate spirituality into daily family life, there are 22 Parenting Vehicles listed for you to reshape and use how you choose in order to invite a new awareness into your family’s life. A few of the vehicles are: family discussions, visual cues, family rituals, intuitive-gratitude journal, meditation, exploring music, art, books, showing your spirit, and utilizing nature.

• Soul to Soul Parenting Spiritual Themes: There are 15 Spiritual Themes which are meant to broaden perspectives so that life can be viewed from multiple angles, allowing the interconnectedness of all things to be felt and observed. A few of the themes are: connectedness and boundaries, presence and openness, authenticity and joy, forgiveness, self-love, truth and perception, gratitude and appreciation, and trust and faith.

After each Spiritual Theme there are some tools for integrating it into your family, such as:

• parent contemplation questions
• specific activities
• a list of related books for all ages (picture books, chapter books, and adult books)
• a list of related movies
• a list of related songs

To get a greater sense of the book, watch this short two minute trailer featuring author Annie Burnside discussing what the book is about:

If you can’t view the video, click here.

I also encourage you to visit her website www.annieburnside.com where you will find some great information such as another description of the book, family discussion topics, and many of her published articles.

My Thoughts

This book came into my life at the right time. Its messages were just what I wanted to hear and were written in my kind of language. While initially expecting it to be strictly geared towards how to impart this wisdom to children, I was pleasantly surprised to realize that a lot of the book was teaching me these concepts. After all, I will need to know about these ideas if I want to share them with my family. She explains each concept in depth, and then shares ways to teach it to your children.

I really loved the reminders to live with authenticity and joy. I think that’s what I need most in my life right now – to crank up the JOY! And not that I needed it, but I feel Annie gave me permission to do just that. What a great new way to see my life!

As a Unitarian Universalist, I was thrilled with how much this book spoke my language of the interconnectedness of all things and acceptance of everyone’s own spiritual journey. And I know that other Unitarian Universalist parents out there would feel the same way.

What Age to Start?

After reading the book and getting fired up to start this new spiritual journey, I became confused about how to start with my own family. My son is only 4 years old and I didn’t really know how to even begin to talk about some of the themes mentioned in the book. I asked Annie for some advice and she was kind enough to share even more pearls of wisdom – and I want to share some of that with you as well.

Any age is fine to start. With young children, Annie suggests using picture books and kid’s songs a lot by sharing together during family discussion and choosing one theme. Keep in mind that at this age discussions might be only three minutes long. Also, visual cues can be started very early; for example a cute note that says “I Love Myself” on a closet door.

Annie reminded me that in the beginning a big part of this journey is simply making time together for this purpose a priority. Eventually you just begin infusing a little bit here and there as the whole family becomes comfortable with the language. The biggest step is the parents making a conscious choice to engage in personal growth and spiritual development and then it evolves rather naturally for the whole family in tandem.

Non-Denominational

Soul to Soul Parenting is not designed for one specific religious group. While the spiritual themes are non-denominational, some of them might not resonate with certain religious groups. With all the themes, Annie encourages you to explore the ones that fit your family’s evolving spirituality. I think the themes and the overall message of the book can be applied in any family of any faith tradition, adapting them to your specific beliefs if necessary.

Who Would Most Benefit From Soul to Soul Parenting?

• Parents wanting to create deeper family bonds
• Parents who want ideas for teaching these themes to their children
• Parents with a world view who want guidance as they create spiritual connections with their family

Where to Buy the Book?

You can find Soul to Soul Parenting on Amazon.com. I’ve also added it to my Amazon.com store in the ‘Books for Parents’ category.

Annie Burnside, M.Ed., is a soul nurturer, author, public speaker, and teacher specializing in conscious relationships and spiritual development. She also writes a family consciousness column for Evolving Your Spirit Magazine and blogs for the Chicago Tribune Media Company under Soul to Soul Perspective: A Little Bit of Soul Goes a Long Way. Annie also hosts a radio show for the “I’m Thankful Network.” She received her Masters degree in Education from DePaul University and lives in Chicago, Illinois with her husband and three children. www.annieburnside.com

[Disclosure: I received a review copy of this book from the author. With that being said, the comments and opinions above are purely my own.]

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Are you looking for some quality videos for your kids when you are stuck inside due to weather (be it extreme heat of the summer, like here in Texas right now, or the bitter cold of deep winter)? I wanted to share a couple videos I like that I feel bring a little more exposure to other areas of life, sort of expanding my son’s horizons so to speak.

Classical Baby: The Poetry Show

Since we don’t have cable or satellite, I wasn’t even aware of the Classical Baby shows on HBO until one day when I saw the Classical Baby: The Poetry Show video at our local library. I decided to check it out for our then 2 year old son.

The Poetry Show is a compilation of favorite poems from William Shakespeare, Robert Louis Stevenson, John Keats, Robert Frost, Woodie Guthrie, Gertrude Stein, Elizabeth Barrett Browning, and Langston Hughes. Most of the poems are recited by famous personalities such as Gwyneth Paltrow, Susan Sarandon, Andy Garcia, John Lithgow, and others; William Carlos Williams reads his own poem “This is Just to Say”. Adding to the greatness is colorful animation and music as well as footage of real elementary age children discussing poetry. I was amazed by these children and the depth of their thoughts!

Not being a big poetry fan myself, I was curious what the show would be like for our young son. I was pleasantly surprised when he was GLUED to it and absolutely loved it! After watching it several times, he could almost recite the entire poem “Grassy Grass Grass” by Woodie Guthrie (which happened to be my favorite one on the show). He loved it when he was 2 and he still likes watching it now (he’s 4).

This is definitely a recommended video to introduce your child to the world of poetry and all it offers. I know if left to me, my son would not have had this preliminary knowledge about poetry. And I have to admit that I developed a new respect and appreciation for poetry and I really liked all of it! If poetry was presented this way when I was in school, I might have had a different appreciation for it all my life.

My only complaint is that I wish the video were longer, or that they made more volumes of “Poetry Shows” featuring more poems and poets.

Although I have not seem them, there are other videos in the series: Classical Baby 3-Pack – Music, Art & Dance.

• The Music Show features an animal orchestra playing Tchaikovsky, Bach, Mozart and Copland, plus many other great classical composers.
• The Art Show features some of the world’s greatest works of art accompanied by some great classical music. The exhibit features works by Monet, Degas, Pollock, Van Gogh, plus many other masterpieces.
• The Dance Show features animals dancers showing impressive moves inspired by George Balanchine, Martha Graham, Pilobolus, plus many other great choreographers.

YogaKids Ages 3-6 (Vol. 2 ABCs)

Having heard great things about this video and wanting to bring some form of exercise to our son, I bought this Yoga Kids video a few years ago.

The video features the instructor, Marsha Wenig, and a group of children outside in various scenic locations with their yoga mats. Starting with the letter ‘A’, a topic is introduced (often with additional information) and then the related pose is demonstrated and performed. You get to see the instructor do the pose as well as the children. For example, A is Alligator and there is a very brief intro showing an alligator followed by instructions and demonstration on how to do the “alligator” pose.

The instructor’s voice is very calm and soothing and her manner of speaking to the children is perfect (she does not “talk down” to them). The overall vibe is very positive throughout the video, as would be expected in a yoga video. The pace is just right, the poses are child-friendly (of course) and creative and vary between standing, sitting, and laying down poses. My son is all about cars so he loves the “D” move: driving! I was super impressed by the entire video.

My son was not quite 3 when we first tried this and he didn’t take to it right away. So I put it away for a few months and tried it later. He enjoyed it and got maybe halfway through it before his short attention span overcame him. Now that he’s older he can make it even farther through the video. He likes it and attempts most of the moves. We do it together and that makes it more fun for him – and great for me, too!

Depending on your child, they may not be ready for this right at age 3, or they may be ready at age 2 – you never know! Keep trying and I’m sure you will one day find them loving this, too! What a great family activity for promoting exercise.

Although we only have Volume 2 (ABCs) here are all the videos in the series:

• Yoga Kids: For Ages 3-6
• Yoga Kids, Vol. 2: ABC’s for Ages 3-6
• YogaKids, Vol. 3: Silly to Calm

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What other videos do you like that would “expand horizons”? Leave a comment and share!

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Well look no further; I’ve found a couple books that will provide great information to your older child about home birth, breastfeeding, baby wearing, and co-sleeping.

Welcome With Love

Welcome With Love by Jenni Overend and Julie Vivas tells the story of a family on birthing day, awaiting the home birth of their newest member. This book will be a welcome addition to read to your older children to prepare them for the sights and words that accompany a home birth.

Included throughout the story are many aspects of birth that are common with home birth and that are probably not shown in books depicting birth in a hospital.

• What you might see during labor (mom going for a walk to help labor along, mom leaning on dad during labor)
• What you might hear during labor (mom making loud noises every few minutes)
• A midwife comes to the house to assist the birth
• Mention of items that midwife brings (oxygen in case it’s needed)
• Illustration of birth scene which involves nude mother standing and leaning on dad, baby’s head emerging from mom with midwife ready to receive the baby, other children looking on behind midwife
• Illustration of mom on knees (nude) holding baby, umbilical cord still attached and placenta not delivered
• Illustration and discussion of breastfeeding
• Whole family co-sleeping by fire

What Baby Needs

What Baby Needs by William Sears, M.D., Martha Sear, R.N., and Christie Watts Kelly shares information meant for older siblings about what the new baby will need when they arrive, which are the same things that child needed as a baby. The book provides a page of notes at the beginning for parents and caregivers which I found very helpful. One helpful tip was to refer to the child as the “older brother/sister” instead of “big brother/sister”.

The book also has a page at the end of the book that contains information about attachment parenting as well as several resources (websites and books).

Here’s how the book shares the “Five Baby Bs” of attachment parenting tools:

• Birth bonding: Skin-to-skin contact and breastfeeding are mentioned as well as illustrated.
• Breastfeeding: Breastfeeding is mentioned as the way babies eat and is shown with a lovely illustration. They also mention baby getting mommy’s milk from a bottle if mommy is away.
• Baby wearing: Also discussed is how babies need to be held and one way is by using a baby carrier. There are three illustrations showing baby wearing and two of them show the dad wearing the baby!
• Be flexible with sleeping arrangements: The book illustrates a baby sleeping in a co-sleeper near the bed because they need to be close to Mommy’s heartbeat.
• Belief in value of crying: A baby’s language is crying and it’s mentioned how important it is to respond quickly to a baby’s cries.

The book also has small boxes on some pages that share ways for the older child to become involved and help or that help the older child bond with the baby.

What I personally really loved was that there was no mention of feeding the baby formula at all! This was important to me since we exclusively breastfeed and I wanted a book that exclusively shows breastfeeding/breast milk. As you know, this is hard to find in most baby books. (In the notes section at the beginning of the book the author encourages you to change the text to fit the choices you make in your family.)

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What home birth, natural birth, breastfeeding, baby wearing, co sleeping books have you found? Please leave a comment and share with us!

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What does that mean exactly?

I am pretty “crunchy” when it comes to eating healthy and overall nutrition (for myself and my family). Part of that ‘crunchiness’ was a deep desire to breastfeed my baby for a long time (which is actually not so radical but rather the way humans were meant to be fed). This belief led me to research my choices when starting solid foods for our baby and led me to new information and a new way to approach introducing solid foods that is compatible with my health-focused attitude towards food – and led me to introduce solids differently than most people do.

I exclusively breastfed my son and we waited to start solid foods until he was eight months old. We skipped rice cereal completely; his first food was some avocado that I mashed. Waiting the appropriate few days between new foods, we then tried mashed bananas. No need for anything from a store-bought jar! We also made sure that “food was fun” for the first year, meaning that it was just for experimenting with, getting familiar with, learning hand-eye coordination, but absolutely NOT to replace any breast milk or become regular stand-alone meals.

Our son's first food - avocado. He was excited about the first bite, but not so much about the next few bites. They are one of his favorite foods to this day.

Disclaimer

I want to remind you to read my disclaimer. I am not a medical doctor and you should always consult your physician for medical advice and opinions before you try any of these ideas. I am providing this information for educational purposes and sharing what worked for me.

1. Delay Solid Food Introduction

Health experts and breastfeeding experts recommend waiting until your baby is at least six months old before starting solid foods. In fact, many organizations (such as the World Health Organization and the American Academy of Pediatrics) recommend that all babies be exclusively breastfed (no cereal, juice, or any other foods) for the first six months of life (not the first 4-6 months). Even with the new recommendation of six months, many health care providers still share the old recommendation of starting solids at four month old.

When most people hear these numbers, they think it’s when they HAVE to start their baby on solid foods, when that’s not really the case at all. Six months is the minimum age to start solids, not the mandatory age.

Watch the baby, not the calendar

From Kellymom.com: Solids readiness depends on both the maturity of baby’s digestive tract and baby’s developmental readiness for solids. Research indicates that 6 months appears to be ideal for avoiding the allergies and other health risks of too-early solids. Most babies are developmentally ready for solids somewhere between 6 and 8 months.

Why?

Kellymom.com (one of the favorite sites) shares in great detail why many experts recommend delaying solids. Here are a few of the top reasons:

• Delaying solids gives baby’s digestive system time to mature. Their digestive system is still pretty immature at four months. Digestive enzymes don’t reach adequate levels until 6-9 months (depending on the enzyme). If solids are started before a baby’s system is ready to handle them, they are poorly digested and may cause unpleasant reactions (digestive upset, gas, constipation, etc.). Remember, “outward” signs of being ready for solids do not mean that your baby’s inner digestive system is mature and ready.

• Delaying solids decreases the risk of food allergies. Babies possess what is often referred to as an “open gut” from birth until somewhere between four and six months of age. This means that the spaces between the cells of the small intestines will readily allow intact macromolecules, including whole proteins and pathogens, to pass directly into the bloodstream. Introduced before the gut closes, solid food can irritate the gut leading to allergies or food sensitivities.

• Delaying solids helps to protect baby from iron-deficiency anemia. The introduction of iron supplements and iron-fortified foods, particularly during the first six months, reduces the efficiency of baby’s iron absorption. One study found no cases of anemia within the first year in babies breastfed exclusively for seven months and concluded that breastfeeding exclusively for seven months reduces the risk of anemia.

• Delaying solids helps to protect baby from future obesity. The early introduction of solids is associated with increased body fat and weight in childhood.

• Delaying solids helps mom maintain her milk supply. Studies have shown that for a young baby solids replace milk in a baby’s diet – they do not add to baby’s total intake. The more solids that baby eats, the less milk he takes from mom, and less milk taken from mom means less milk production. Babies who eat lots of solids or who start solids early tend to wean prematurely.

2. Skip the Cereals

If you ask most pediatricians, childcare books, and other parents they will say to start baby on rice cereal mixed with breast milk or formula. This thinking has been around for 60 years! But would it surprise you to know that there is no scientific basis for this recommendation? None at all.

If you delay starting solids until six months or later, you can skip the rice cereal and start with foods that actually have nutritional value. More health experts are now becoming concerned about babies getting used to the taste of highly processed white rice and flour, which could set them up for a lifetime of bad habits (such as a weakness for cakes and cookies).

But what about the iron?

People will say that babies need rice cereal due to the added iron content. It’s debatable whether healthy breastfed babies need the extra iron (you can get baby’s iron levels checked). Human milk does not contain large amounts of iron, but iron in breast milk is better absorbed than that from other sources. Approximately 50 percent of the iron in mother’s milk is absorbed, compared to only a 7 percent absorption from formula, and a 4 percent absorption from infant cereals.

Why?

• After processing strips away fiber, vitamins, and other nutrients, white rice is a nutritional disaster, as processed as anything in the food supply, and the nutritional equivalent of table sugar.

• White rice is a refined carbohydrate, a group of highly processed, nutritionally devoid foods that have been linked to increased rates of heart disease, insulin resistance, eye damage, and cancer in adults, and are worthless nutritionally for infants as well.

• Feeding infants cereal has been associated with an increased risk of type 1 diabetes and may prime your baby’s appetite for a lifetime of processed carbs in the form of white bread, cookies, and cakes.

• Ironically, the introduction of iron supplements and iron-fortified foods (such as cereal), particularly during the first six months, reduces the efficiency of baby’s iron absorption.

my sweet boy and his sweet potato face

3. Keep Breast Milk Primary Source of Nutrition

When you introduce solid foods, breast milk consumption should not diminish at all. The American Academy of Pediatrics as well as breastfeeding experts worldwide agree that breast milk should be the primary source of nutrition/calories in baby’s diet for the first 12 months. Solid food is mainly for practice/exploration and teaching them to eat, not to get nourishment.

Food is fun for the first year.

For those of you with well-meaning but uninformed family and friends that ask “when are you going to feed the baby real food“, remember that breast milk and/or formula IS real food. These will be enough to sustain your baby’s nutritional needs up to one year old.

Why?

• Introduction of solids before 6 months of age generally does not increase total caloric intake or rate of growth and may displace the important nutrition your baby needs to receive from breast milk and/or formula and only substitutes foods that lack the protective components of human milk.

• Babies need fat and breast milk is the best source. Solid foods (from a jar, especially) do no contain enough fat and calories to replace breast milk. Check out the comparison: Human milk has 22 kcal/oz and 1.15 g fat/oz while applesauce has 16 kcal/oz and 0 g fat/oz, carrots have 10 kcal/oz and 0 g fat/oz.

More Information

• Is my baby ready for solids? on Kellymom.com
• Myths about solids readiness on Kellymom.com
• How to start solids on Kellymom.com
• Wholesomebabyfood.com

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“Children have never been very good at listening to their elders, but they have never failed to imitate them.”

- James Baldwin

Most of us know that kids will repeat things we say, which is why many people try to watch their language when kids are around. But kids learn more from us than just a few choice words; they learn how to behave in certain situations, as well as learning positive (and negative) attributes and skills. Every day you are teaching your children by example how to react to situations, and if you are not conscious of what you are doing you may be teaching them something you don’t want them to learn.

Modeling

The process of teaching by example is called modeling and it affects behavior far more than telling your children what to do (and far more than punishing them, too).

Modeling can teach a child how to:

• handle conflict
• react to stress or fear
• interact with others

There is a fabulous article on Teaching Children Respect by Pam Leo on the Natural Child Project website. Here are a couple of powerful messages from that article:

• 95% of everything children learn, they learn from what is modeled for them. Only 5% of all they learn is from direct instruction.
• The language children grow up hearing is the language they will speak.

If we expect children to have manners, to share, to apologize, to be honest, kind, respectful, and loving, we must do and be those things so they will have that model to imitate. For example:

• If we expect children to always say please and thank you, we must always say please and thank you to them and to each other, otherwise we are modeling that sometimes you say it and sometimes you don’t.
• If we want to teach them gratitude, we need to practice gratitude every day in many situations.

It may sound silly, but in our house we say thank you to everyone all the time.

• Thank you daddy for making breakfast.
• Thanks for doing the dishes, hon.
• Thanks for helping me with ____.
• Thanks for picking up your toys.
• Thanks for watching him so I could go for a run.

And on and on and on. We try to live gratitude for everything so that it becomes a normal part of life.

Kids are Kids

Modeling does not always dictate a child’s behavior; your kids won’t inevitably do everything you do. But it is an important and underappreciated way to transmit information, experiences, skills, beliefs, values, and large segments of behavior.

My Story

This finally clicked for me when I started hearing my 3-year-old son say things and seeing him do things that I know I have done (yes, both positive and negative). I am immensely proud of the positive things he has said and done and I inwardly cringe at the negative things he did. It was both a great reward and another reminder to think before I react.

I’d like to share a couple of the positive things I’ve seen him say and do, ones that actually kind of shocked me:

• When I showed him a card I made he said, “Oh wow. It’s neat. I like it. Good job.” He was naturally supportive because he has heard the same thing from me in the same type of situation.
• When I get hurt he says, “Are you OK mama? Don’t worry. It will feel better in a few minutes.” And gives me kisses. He responds with genuine concern because he’s seen it many times from us.
• We have taught him to express his feelings and one time when we were having issues he said, “Are you mad at me? I still love you.” This comes from other times he knows I am upset with him, but I always make it a point to say that I love him.
• Whenever I pick him up from pre-school he always asks me, “So what did you do today? Did you have fun at home? How was your coffee?” He has picked up this habit from me always asking him about his day when we’ve been apart.
• When we came home after an evening out, he was in our bed sleeping. He stirred when we came in and said, “I’m so glad you’re back. Did you have fun?” He has heard us say this to him whenever we have been apart.
• After having a discussion about him yelling at me he said (completely without prompting), “I’m sorry for yelling at you.” He has learned this from me. I am not a perfect parent; I’m also not afraid of apologizing to my son when I have been wrong. Since he has watched me apologize to him, he knows how and when to do it also.

Why Practice Positive Modeling? It’s About Respecting Children

The old saying “Do as I say, don’t do as I do” not only doesn’t work, it also brings mistrust into the relationship.

Children have all the same feelings we do. The same kind of treatment that would embarrass, humiliate or hurt us, embarrasses, humiliates, and hurts children. When adults try to “teach” children by criticizing, lecturing, shaming, ridiculing, giving orders, screaming, threatening, and hitting, it shuts down their thinking so they can’t learn what the adult intended to teach them to do or not to do; they can only record what is being modeled.

Learning to treat children with respect will require a change of heart that can come only from a major shift in consciousness of how we view children and how we define respect. But once we start treating children with respect, they will learn how to treat others with respect.

However we treat the child, the child will treat the world. -Pam Leo

Treat Friends, Kids the Same

There is a neat article written by Erma Bombeck titled “Treat Friends, Kids the Same” in which she imagines having friends over for dinner and saying to them all those things that most of us heard growing up and therefore, say to children:

• “Shut the door. Were you born in a barn?”
• “I didn’t work over a hot stove all day to have you nibble like some bird.”
• “Sit up straight or your spine will grow that way.”

(In case you want to read it, I found the entire article here.) We all would probably get a good chuckle at the thought of speaking to our friends that way, but it’s just as disrespectful to say those things to children. Let’s stop and think about it the next time we talk to our children. Are we talking to our children as we should?

Think about it. We don’t say, “What do you say?” or “What’s the magic word?” to our friends but children hear it all the time. But what should we say in those situations? That’s where some thought must come into play.

Many Models in Child’s Life

You are not the only model in your child’s life. Children imitate parents, family members, friends, caregivers, teachers, and television characters. In two-parent households, the two adults will model different behaviors and ways of being in the world. Sometimes the discrepancies are large, but this is a normal level of inconsistency for family life. Children have to cope, and they usually do.

Art of Apologizing

Modeling is unforgiving in that it teaches your best and worst behaviors, the ones you’re most careful to practice and others you’re barely conscious of. Kids may be resilient but that doesn’t mean we can take them for granted. If we have modeled disrespect to them, we must then model apologizing. Thankfully kids are very forgiving, also.

Whenever I mess up as a parent, I apologize to my son. I have probably been doing this since he was too little to completely understand. Most of my apologizing is around the theme of me not being patient enough with him.

How do you apologize to a child? The same way you would apologize to anyone else. For me, it usually takes the form of me apologizing for my action, then guessing how that made him feel, saying how I should have acted, and then offering that I will work on being better (at whatever issue is at hand), and of course lots of hugs and kisses. (I also don’t offer excuses for my behavior.) For example:

“I’m so sorry I wasn’t very patient with you this morning before school. I bet that hurt your feelings. Did you feel sad? Mama should have let you take your time putting your shoes on. Mama will work on being more patient with you.”

What Can We Do?

Has anyone else noticed that when trying to figure out how to best parent your child, it often comes down to learning how to change your own thoughts and behavior? When certain stressful situations happen, we all have automatic responses that we learned as a child. In order to be the best parent we can be, we need to deprogram all our negative automatic responses, relearn new positive responses, and practice them until they become our new automatic responses. Here are a few thoughts on how to do this:

• Train yourself to stop and think before you speak or react, remembering that everything you say will be recorded and imitated. We can then intentionally model the kind of behavior we expect and will accept from our children.

• Follow Erma Bombeck’s advice and treat your kids the same way you would treat your friends. Ask yourself, “Would I say those words, in that tone of voice, to my good friend?” If not, it was probably disrespectful.

• Read a few good books. Some of my all-time favorite parenting books are Respectful Parents, Respectful Kids: 7 Keys to Turn Family Conflict into Cooperation and How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk, both of which offer practical alternatives to yelling, nagging, threatening, and criticizing.

Closing Thoughts

What things have you been trying to “teach” your child lately? Have you been trying to “teach” gratitude by just talking about it? Have you been trying to “teach” cooperation by yelling when it doesn’t happen?

Take this time to think about the past few days with your children, what you want them to learn, and how a different approach might be useful.

I’ll leave you with this popular poem that hung on the wall in my sister’s room when we were children. It’s called Children Learn What They Live by Dorothy Law Nolte.

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[Photo credits: Vivek Chugh (parent/child), Andrew C. (girl), Nara Vieira da Silva Osga (boy)]

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• My Favorite Parenting Book: How To Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk

Worst eczema flare up: photo taken 4/8/09

California Baby® Calendula Cream to the Rescue

My husband went to Whole Foods to find something else that might work for our son. The employee working in the body section suggested California Baby Calendula Cream, saying it was great for skin. After verifying that the ingredients list was good, he brought it home.

We put some on our son’s cheeks and the very next day I noticed improvement – I was shocked! We kept using it and it just kept getting better and better – way faster than I ever imagined! Check out this photo taken just five days after the one above.

Photo taken 4/13/09, just 5 days after applying California Baby Calendula cream

You can still see some light red patches but it is a drastic improvement, especially in such a short time.

We kept using it and I don’t know exactly when it disappeared, but I found this photo taken a few weeks later that shows it’s all gone.

Photo taken 5/1/09: No more eczema

Needless to say we were beyond thrilled with the results! And know what else? He never again had an eczema flare up on his cheeks. Amazing!

Why California Baby® Calendula Cream Is So Awesome

• Great Ingredients: California Baby Calendula Cream contains the active ingredient Calendula, which has been used to heal the skin for centuries. The other ingredients are great, too. In fact, California Baby Calendula Cream gets a rating of 1 on the Environmental Working Group’s (EWG) Cosmetics Database. You’ve heard me talk about this rating before and a rating of 1 is great (it means it has a low hazard).

• Versatile: It is safe enough to use on a baby, but effective enough for adults to use, also. (It makes a great face cream for moms and dads.)

• Eco-Friendly Company: I love the company’s eco-friendly position. From minimal packaging, to easy plastic to recycle, to recycled paper and soy inks for product info tags and literature, to their eco-friendly showroom.
  

• Other uses: In addition to eczema, California Baby Calendula Cream can also be used for perioral dermatitis and other skin sensitivities, including the diaper area for simple rashes. It can also be used on cuts and scrapes and cradle cap.

• Reasonably Priced: While some might initially balk at the price, I assure you it’s cheap in the long run. A little goes a long way; our jar lasted quite awhile. And I am guessing it’s cheaper than any prescription ointment – and less toxic, too. You can’t put a price on that!

I have recommended California Baby Calendula Cream to other mom friends when they talk about their child’s problems with eczema. They have all reported back to me that it has worked great (and fast) for them as well!

Where to Buy California Baby® Calendula Cream

You can find California Baby Calendula Cream in stores like Whole Foods, Target, and Babies R Us, and online at Amazon.com. (I’ve also added it to my Amazon store.) Remember, if you purchase through my Amazon.com links, it will help support my efforts here at Parentingtips365.com.

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• Skin Moisturizer Ingredients to Avoid, Plus Some Great Natural Lotion Options
• Eczema Relief for Parent and Child: Tips for Preventing and Coping with Flareups

What About Cost?

I would guess that most parents who choose disposable diapers choose a brand mainly for cost and therefore choose a mainstream disposable brand. Whether parents aren’t sold on the merits of a natural disposable diaper or the presumed higher cost keeps them away, Seventh Generation diapers are probably not found in the majority of households with babies.

But if cost has kept you away in the past, I have found a way to save big money on Seventh Generation Diapers and wanted to share it with you.

How To Get Discount on Seventh Generation Diapers

The popularity of Seventh Generation diapers is increasing; I have seen them available in more and more locations, from Target stores to those small natural sections of grocery stores. But if that is where you buy your Seventh Generation diapers, you are paying too much! I have seen packages range in price from $12/pack up to $17/pack, depending on the store.

Here’s how to get them cheaper:

1. Buy them by the case (four packs) on Amazon.com. Just by doing that the price drops to $10/pack ($39.99/case).
2. Sign up for Amazon.com’s Subscribe and Save. By having a case automatically ordered every so often (you choose the frequency) you save 15%, bringing the price down to $8.50/pack ($33.99/case).
3. Sign up for Amazon Mom. With this free membership you save another 15%, bringing the price down to $7/pack ($27.99/case).

Bonus: There is free shipping for Subscribe and Save!

Let’s do the math:

We just went from $12/pack to $7/pack, for a savings of 42%! (If you currently pay $17/pack, you can save 59%!) Don’t you just love Amazon.com!

I grabbed some quick numbers from Target.com to compare size 4 diapers:

• Luvs case of 96 diapers for $16.99=$0.18/diaper
• Seventh Generation case of 120 diapers for $27.99=$0.23/diaper
• Pampers pack of 27 diapers for $8.99=$0.33/diaper
• Huggies case of 108 diapers for $36.99=$0.34/diaper

As you can see, this discounted rate is even better than most mainstream diapers!

My Thoughts

I have been getting our diapers at this discounted rate for quite awhile now and it’s been great! Now that my son is potty trained during the day we don’t need as many diapers, so I changed the frequency of delivery. Even if the frequency isn’t exactly right, you can order more anytime and update the next shipment. It’s so easy! And I usually get my diapers in a few days.

How To Purchase

Simply click on Seventh Generation Diapers to take you to the Amazon.com product page. Seventh Generation Diapers are also listed in my Amazon.com store in the ‘Diapering’ category.

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